Taking Tests
by TheFifthHalliwellDaughter
Summary: April and Lexie are both facing some big changes in their lives - can they keep it together or will everything fall apart? Life is full of tests, and you don't always pass but you do learn something.
1. Chapter 1

Lexie paced back and forth in the tiny bathroom, her mind casting back to that night. She hadn't meant to say it, she'd tried to mash it down and not say it, but she had a habit of saying things she shouldn't. Mark had just stared, watching her gush months of repressed feelings. And then Julia had shown up and he'd left without a word. Until later that night, in the pouring rain when he'd turned up on her doorstep.  
"I love you, I've always loved you. I will always be in love with you."  
She remembered the way their bodies seemed to recognise each other, perfectly melding together and sharing one rhythm. The passion was still there after all that time – he still took her breath away.

A knock at the door brought her mind back to the present. "Anyone in there?"

"Go away, April!" Lexie called back. She glanced from her watch to the bathroom basin where two pregnancy tests sat like ticking time bombs. Just when everything was falling back into place, something else had come along to come between her and Mark; another baby of all things! Lexie wanted kids, of course she did. She just wasn't ready now. She remembered what Mark had said as they lay in bed that fateful night.  
"We can get married. And you're going to become an amazing surgeon. And we're going to have two or three kids."

"Sofia can have siblings." She had mused.  
"Yeah, a sister and two brothers. We're going to be happy, Lex. You and me, we're going to have the best lives, Lexie, you and me. We're going to be so happy."

In that moment she'd believed in everything he'd said and wanted it with her whole heart. But she'd thought she had years before they got there, not a matter of weeks. Now she wasn't so sure. She traced the cold outline of the bathroom tiles with her toe, willing time to speed up. She felt like she might throw up, whether that was a sign of pregnancy or nerves she couldn't tell. She really needed to relax – the tests could come back negative and everything could be fine. But she couldn't help but remember the last two times a baby had been thrown into their relationship. She was trying to be calm and picture the positives of either outcome but the truth was she was so scared.

Meanwhile in the downstairs bathroom, April faced the same dilemma. She awkwardly stared at the pregnancy tests she'd bought that were still sealed in their packaging. She'd locked herself in the bathroom at least ten minutes ago and if she didn't get it over and done with soon, the others would notice she was gone. Yet still she continued to stare at the tests, as if they'd soon back down and the whole problem would go away. What were the chances of someone becoming pregnant on their first time; of going from virgin to mother in one night? As a doctor she knew the chances, she just didn't want to believe that it had happened to her. Her and Jackson weren't even together! This was probably God's way of punishing her for having sex before marriage. She jumped as she heard Jackson calling her name.  
"In the bathroom!" she hissed back at him.  
"Oh okay, never mind then." He said, right outside the door by now.

April heard his footsteps retreating. "No, wait!" she called out. "I need you. I mean, I need to talk to you. Now."

She turned the lock carefully and drew a deep breath. Jackson entered the bathroom with a look of utter confusion, his eyes fixed on April. She opened her mouth to talk to him but instead she burst into tears. Still no idea what was going on, Jackson wrapped his arms around her and she crumpled against his body. Her sobs were muffled as she cried into his shirt.  
"What is it? What's wrong?" It was then that he spied the unopened pregnancy test boxes. "Oh April." He squeezed her tighter and rubbed her back lovingly. Eventually, she pulled away and he grabbed her hand as she began to talk.

"Jackson, I think I'm pregnant. I'm so sorry. I was trying to take the test before I got you all worried too but I just couldn't make myself do it."  
"You're not alone," he said simply. "I'll hold your hand through it all if you want me to."

April smiled at him. She was glad that after everything they'd been through she still had her best friend. He unwrapped the first test and handed it to her.

"It's karma, it's karma for breaking my promise to Jesus." April repeated over and over as they waited for the results. Jackson tried to reassure her that it wasn't but she didn't seem willing to believe him.

"Do you want to check it or do you need me too?" When April didn't move, Jackson reached for the sticks. The symbols matched each other – they were both positive.  
"I'm pregnant…" April repeated after him, wondering if she'd misheard him the first time. She didn't cry, didn't gasp, and just sat in a state of shock as things crumbled around her.

Upstairs, Lexie was echoing her sentiment.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith and Derek walked through the door after a long day at the hospital. Meredith bounced Zola on her hip and walked into the living room where Lexie sat reading a book.

"Look ZoZo, it's your Aunty Lexie! Go say hello." She placed Zola on the floor and watched her toddle over towards the couch. Lexie startled at the sound of Zola's giggle. Her face was pale as she looked up from her book into Zola's big eyes. Truthfully, Lexie had been sitting on the couch for the past three hours and had rnot made it past the first page. Her mind was too busy racing after the news she'd received that morning.  
"Hey pretty baby," Lexie cooed, lifting Zola onto her lap. "What am I gonna do, baby girl?" she whispered into her ear. Zola just giggled.

April rushed into the living room, pulling on a cardigan, followed closely by Jackson. The pair looked flustered.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked helpfully.

"Nothing!" April replied, a little too forcefully.

"We're just late for work," Jackson explained.

Meredith glanced at the clock on the wall, "No you're not, you've got more than enough-"

"My watch must just be fast then alright!?" April burst out. Jackson just shrugged at Meredith, Derek and Lexie as he ushered April out of the door.

"Well that was strange," noted Derek. He moved towards the couch and flung himself down in exhaustion. Meredith left to start dinner.

"Well, you can have the baby," Lexie passed Zola over to Derek. "I have to go see Mark."

"Take Zola with you." Derek pleaded with a sigh.

"Uh-uh, not this time buddy!"

On the drive to Mark's apartment Lexie had gone over what she was going to say in her head a thousand times. She'd imagined the conversation ending in thousands of different ways. Sometimes Mark was overjoyed and other times he wanted nothing to do with her. In some of the scenarios they ended up together and in others he broke up with her. Before she knew it she was knocking on Mark's familiar door, the same thing she'd done a thousand times before, but this time it felt like her heart was going to jump out of her throat. She straightened her blue jacket and fiddled with her hair nervously. Lexie jumped as Mark opened the door. Before she could utter a word he'd pulled her close and kissed her. At first she wanted to break away, to spill the words that were swirling in her mind and get it over with. But she couldn't do it. Partly she feared what would happen once the words were out there and the other half just wanted to make the most of her last time with Mark.

Mark let his hands wander along every inch of her body. Lexie shuddered as his hands ran over her stomach but only for a second. They moved as one towards the bedroom. By the time Mark lifted Lexie onto the bed they were both panting. Lexie's coat had been removed somewhere along the hallway and Mark's shirt was now hanging over the end of the bed. Mark had just lifted Lexie's shirt and was passionately kissing her soft torso when they were interrupted by a baby's cry.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," apologised Mark, running his fingers through his hair. "It's my night with Sofia." He sat up but Lexie put her arms around his shoulders and pulled him back down.

"Don't worry, I'll get her." She said. She kissed him lightly before putting on his shirt and slipping quietly out of the room.

Lexie tiptoed back into Mark's room, baby in arms. "Miss Cranky Pants wouldn't go back to sleep," she whispered, cocking her head down at Sofia. Mark smiled as Lexie stretched out her arms and offered him Sofia. "No, you keep her. A baby looks good on you."

"Umm, okay." Lexie muttered, her heart now beating so loud she was sure Mark must be able to hear it. Lexie climbed into bed beside Mark and let herself snuggle into him as he put an arm around his two girls. Sofia didn't stir, just blinked up at Lexie.

"Stroke her hair, she likes that." Mark told Lexie.

Lexie gently ran her thumb back and forth across Sofia's soft head. She smiled up at Mark, her heart still pounding. He smiled back at her in reassurance.

"Mark…" Lexie uttered. There was a brief moment of silence before she continued. "Did you mean what you said the other night, about having kids and getting married?"

"Of course. But I didn't mean to pressure you. I'll wait. When you're ready we'll do everything we planned, but not a moment before that."

Lexie turned her head and kissed his cheek. He was so considerate of her and she loved that. He'd grown up a lot since his daughter, Sloan Riley, had torn their relationship apart. Lexie had too. It made her feel like they might just be able to survive the bombshell she was about to drop.

"And what if I'd caught up to you? On the kids thing, I mean."

Mark stared at her for a second, processing what she'd just said. A moment later his eyes lit up in recognition. "You're saying you're pregnant?"

Lexie nodded, biting her lip nervously. "Yeah, I'm pregnant Mark."

"How the hell did you get us into this position… again!?" Mark joked but seeing the hurt look on Lexie's face told him she didn't see the funny side. "I'm sorry, Lex. I'm thrilled. How do you feel about all this?"

"I don't know. It's like my life is a runaway train and it's just passing right by every single station. I feel like I've travelled five years in the space of one day. And I've been riding this runaway train all day feeling helpless, but right now, here with you I barely notice everything flashing by the window so fast. I need you Mark. I can't do this without you. Please—"Her voice cracked with emotion.

Mark silenced her gently by placing his finger on her lips. "Shhh, Lex, I'm not going anywhere," he promised her. "I'll be on board this train with you every step of the way."

"I love you." Lexie said simply as he held her even tighter and kissed the top of her head. She rested her head on Mark's shoulder and stayed like that until both she and Sofia fell asleep. Mark watched over his little family, feeling like the happiest man on Earth.


	3. Chapter 3

Jackson lay awake. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. It had been a week since they had found out April was pregnant and ever since she seemed to be avoiding the topic. Jackson understood that it was a lot for April to process but it was something he wanted to talk about. He needed to talk about it. This tiny human already occupied his thoughts almost every waking minute and he didn't even know how April, the mother of his child felt about it. There were a lot of things he didn't know about April, like how she felt about him. He startled a little as the alarm beside his bed began to blare. It was 6pm, time to get up to start the night shift. It was just him and April heading into work tonight, so maybe he'd finally be able to get her to talk on the car ride in.

Jackson dragged himself out of bed and into a steaming hot shower. The water woke him up a little but he still wished he'd been able to sleep the past few nights. Once he was dressed for work he headed down stairs. April was already in the kitchen eating breakfast while Meredith fed Zola dinner. April cocked her head towards a bowl sitting opposite her, indicating she'd prepared it for him.

"Thanks. How are you feeling, April baby?" Jackson asked in a hushed tone as he took a seat at the table.

"I'm fine, she replied between mouthfuls of banana porridge. After another three bites she got up and left the table, even though she wasn't finished, leaving Jackson to eat his breakfast in silence.

Just twenty minutes later Jackson sat in the car with a still very quiet April. He reached behind him and grabbed his seatbelt.

"April…" He said tentatively as he began to reverse the car out of the driveway. "I need you to talk to me. I know that this is really overwhelming for you, and I've tried to give you space but this is a big deal for me too. It's killing me worrying about your feelings and my own, so you have to let me in."  
"I want to but it's complicated," April told him, her eyes fixed on the road straight ahead in front of them.

"Why is it complicated?" Jackson demanded. He wasn't exactly raising his voice but it was obvious that he was on edge.

"I'm sorry." Jackson didn't have to look over to know that April's eyes were filling with tears. "You're my best friend and I want to tell you everything but I know you hate me."

"What? April I don't hate you." Jackson said in confusion.

"You should hate me. I made you fall for me but I can't give you what you want. And now I've probably gone and ruined both our careers by getting pregnant." April wiped her eyes on her sleeve, still looking straight ahead.

"No." Jackson said defiantly. "Sleeping with you was the best thing I've ever done. It was never about the sex, it was always about you.

"Really?" April asked, this time looking at Jackson.

"Really." He confirmed. "Never let anyone make you feel guilty about the way things turned out. Not Jesus, not your parents, and least of all me. In case you've forgotten I played a role in getting you pregnant." He winked and a giggle from April lightened the mood.

"So, forgetting how I or anybody else feels, how do _you_ feel about this baby?" When April didn't answer, he turned to look at her in exasperation. She was pale and shifting in her seat uncomfortably.

"Jackson, I'm gonna—" Before she could finish the sentence Jackson had pulled over to the side of the road and she flung open the door. Jackson rubbed her back sympathetically as she threw up. After a few minutes she wiped her face with a tissue and shut the door.

"Morning sickness, huh?" Jackson asked, pushing a rogue strand of hair behind her ears.  
"More like 'I-just-woke-up sickness' considering it's almost 7pm. It's awful. That's the third time I've been sick just today. But get used to it, there'll be a lot more vomit to deal with after the baby comes!"

And there it was, Jackson's answer. April wanted this baby, _his_ baby, and she saw him in her future. Jackson pulled into the carpark and they walked arm-in-arm towards the hospital doors.


	4. Chapter 4

April watched as Zola tottered around the living room. The little girl picked up toy after toy and handed it to April with a huge, toothy grin.

"Thank you, baby" April replied every time, marvelling at how this game was so repetitive and yet Zola never seemed to get bored. Once Zola's entire toy collection was piled on the floor next to where April sat cross-legged, she clambered into April's lap and plucked a doll from the top of the heap. Following her lead, April picked up another doll and began to make it "talk" to Zola. The little girl squealed with delight as April's doll danced and sang for her, and she made her own doll do the same. Without warning, Zola awkwardly turned herself around and threw her arms around April's midriff.

"Apree!" Zola cried, for she hadn't quite mastered saying 'April' just yet. April hugged her back, breathing in the sweet baby smell that still wafted from the crown of her head.

Her mind thought about the tiny human growing inside of her. How one day that baby would be walking, talking and giggling just like Zola. It was a scary thought. April wasn't ready for kids. She'd had a plan for her life; career, love, marriage, sex and then babies. Her career was only just starting, she had finally finished her residency and was about to become an attending. From career it seemed she'd skipped straight to sex and babies. Although the tension was gone between her and Jackson, there was still a slight awkwardness left behind. Did she love him? Maybe. And maybe one day she'd marry him. Everything was just a little messed up in her head to even think straight. Her life was not supposed to end up like this! But she loved that little baby from the moment she knew of its existence. April had always been a naturally maternal person. She guessed it came from growing up on a farm with so many animals to care for. When she was seven one of their foals had gotten very sick. Joe Kepner had prepared his daughters for the worst as the foal didn't have much chance of making it through the night, but April refused to give up. With her Dad showing her what to do, she stayed in the barn for three days straight taking care of the young foal. Against all odds, the horse survived. That was the moment that April had decided she wanted to be a doctor. She'd figured that if her Dad knew everything about taking care of animals, and she learned how to fix humans, then nobody need ever be sick again. Of course it was an impossible dream, but it had made sense in her seven year old head.

April felt Zola squirm in her lap and looked up to see Meredith coming down the stairs. She lifted Zola to her feet, who then ran with the uneven gait of a toddler over to her mother.

April stood up too. "I heard her crying when she woke up this morning and I was already awake so I thought I'd let you sleep. She's had some breakfast and now we're playing pretend with her dolls. Haven't we Zo?" April nodded and Zola mimicked her. Smiling, Meredith swung her daughter up onto her hip and bounced her up and down.

"Hi ZoZo. Are you having fun with April? Yeah? Mwah!" She planted a big kiss on Zola's nose. She then turned to look at April. "Thank you, I really do appreciate it."

"Oh it was no problem. It was good practise." April and instantly realised she'd said too much. "Just practising for when I eventually have kids. Which won't be for a long time. A long, long time. Y'know, since I'm still a virgin and everything. But when I do, I want to be really good. So yeah, I was practicing…"

"April, you're rambling," Meredith said, cutting her off. Zola tugged at Meredith's sleeve and she put her back down onto the ground. April's cheeks flushed a bright pink colour as she sank down onto the couch.

Meredith shook her head and continued into the kitchen. The women in her house had been acting very strangely lately. April was always helping with Zola, offering to babysit every time the chance arose. It's not that April had ever been reluctant to look after Zola but now she seemed almost too eager. It didn't make sense but Meredith had given up trying to understand April a long time ago. And Lexie was just so moody all the time. She snapped at the smallest things, and without warning too. Meredith supposed that her and Mark must be having problems. Lexie spent most nights at his apartment but was yet to move her stuff over there. Although she'd needed a shove to move in with Mark the first time so it wasn't too surprising. After all they'd been through perhaps it was best that Lexie was a little weary of how fast things were moving. Still, Meredith made a mental note to ask her sister if everything was okay the next time she saw her.

A familiar vibrating sensation shot up through Meredith's leg. She checked the caller ID as she pulled the phone from her pocket: Cristina.

"Hello?"

"Mer."

Meredith nearly dropped the phone at the sound of the voice on the other end of the phone. She knew it so well. It wasn't Cristina, but her husband.

"Derek? Where's Cristina? What's wrong?" She asked frantically, not bothering to pause between questions for a reply.

"Mer, you need to come to the hospital. It's Cristina."

This time Meredith really did drop the phone. Forgetting Derek was still on the other end she picked it up and shoved it back into her pocket. She raced out of the kitchen and grabbed her car keys from the spot where they hung by the door.

"April, I need you to watch Zola!" She yelled as the front door slammed shut behind her. The bang of the door startled Zola and she began to wail.

April lifted her into her arms and whispered, "Shhh, baby. You're okay. Everything's going to be okay." April didn't know what was going on, but she knew by the way Meredith had rushed out of the house without even saying goodbye that things were not okay. She gave the terrified child a kiss on the cheek and rubbed her back comfortingly, wondering what the hell was happening.

As Meredith sped through Seattle her mind raced with possibilities. _Please don't die, Cristina. Please don't die, please don't die. _Her mouth was dry and she could feel her body was trembling. She could barely concentrate on the road; it was as if she was driving on autopilot. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever, although in reality it was the fastest Meredith had ever made the journey. Throwing the open the car door, her feet found the pavement and she hurtled towards the hospital doors.


End file.
